


Chasing the Storm

by AppleTeeth



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bruce Banner Needs a Hug, Everyone Needs A Hug, M/M, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), look at me trying to write sci-fi when i got a C in GCSE
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:53:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26954665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AppleTeeth/pseuds/AppleTeeth
Summary: After the snap and the blip and the defeat of Thonas, Bruce is trying to pick up the pieces of his life whilst trying to find a way to send a message to Thor.
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Thor
Comments: 1
Kudos: 30





	Chasing the Storm

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this after watching Endgame and never finished it, and as I suddenly have the creative ability to write I thought it deserved another look. I haven't watched Infinity War/Endgame since their opening nights because I have Problems With Them, so hopefully this is as canon-compliant as can be when writing fanfic.

The split happened a few months down the line. Once the newly-returned had begun to settle, once the world had finished rejoicing and mourning and everything in-between and finally some normalcy could return. It was never meant to happen, Bruce thinking he had found peace in his new body and in having it, had been the only being in existence able to bring back those lost.

Bruunhilde was the one to initiate it, having held her tongue for too long. She was drunk and angry and, in a tone she usually reserved for her enemies, she asked Bruce so harshly he felt it like a bullet through his chest.

“Do you think Hulk is dead?”

Thrown for a few moments, he tried to hide his dismay by pulling the bottle away from her grasp.

“No… of course not.”

“Then why isn’t he present? Why is it just you just wearing his body and he’s not here?”

“He’s here,” he insisted.

“I know him,” and she managed to yank the bottle back with ease, “And you are not him. Not even a little.”

It was cruel but straight to the point. Bruce had to admire her for that. She was trying to lead a group of refugees - a people she had abandoned eons ago - and struggling every day with sobriety and diplomacy and trade and everything else a leader was supposed to do. No wonder she still drank when she thought nobody would catch her. Bruce was usually the one to take the bottles away from her, which he was starting to consider part of his duties as a diplomat on behalf of the Asgardians.

“He’s still in there, I swear. I just…”

But he didn’t know that. Couldn’t know that. The merge had been years of work that they had both agreed on and Bruce was so ecstatic that they had succeeded, he pretended the lack of voice in his head just meant they were finally together. It didn’t help that he was trying to bury his own self-loathing over having failed to save the universe at the time. He thought there were still elements of Hulk in his mannerisms and personality - but maybe he had just hoped there were? Maybe there really was no way of merging two souls, even if they had started as one a lifetime ago. Maybe they had developed and grew so much it would be as hopeless as trying to get any two brains to meld.

Haunted by Bruunhilde's questions, he went back to his lab and started to look through his old notes. It was foolish to think he would ever stay in his merged state forever anyway - he might as well stop delaying the inevitable. He was always looking for an end goal in his life; a fixed point he could stay in forever. He should have known by now there was no end goal to speak of and change would always come whether he liked it or not.

The machine that had aided the split took days to modify, not just to reverse what it had done but also to accommodate his new size. When he finally tested out the machine for the first time, he realised he was already crying at the thought of it not working.

The physical side of the reversal was covered by the machine; he had to handle the mental. It could take a lifetime trying to find Hulk somewhere in his subconscious. It was complicated and delicate work that made him face moments from his past that made him physically ill. Still her persisted and swam into the inky blackness of his own mind and searched frantically for any sign of him.

Only eventually did he find him looking how he was before the explosion. Small and weak and tired but still able to fight if needed. A scarred and bruised kid more than any monster. Bruce knelt down beside him and unable to hold back, he cried as he apologised for what he had done.

“S’alright Banner,” Hulk said slowly. “Hulk wanted to hide.”

Bruce nodded and felt a green hand envelop his own.

“Felt good, right? Being big?”

He laughed through his tears. “I could never get used to ducking in doorways though.”

“Hmph. Make a bigger door next time.”

Bruce awoke sprawled out on the laboratory floor, drowning in clothes now far too big for his body, tears still streaming as the voice that had been absent from his mind for so long hummed a song he hadn’t heard since he was a child.

For the first time in possibly his whole life it was welcome. The return of that voice inside his head was no longer the burden he had loathed; now it was the company he needed when he felt so lost all the damn time. The relief of Hulk being there again was palpable and he vowed never to change that again. A truce was made and Hulk could come out when and if he wanted; not to destroy but just to be a whole person.

Having resolved his own internal conflict, Bruce’s means of moving forward was to go to his friends, what was left of the team, and help them in whatever way he could.

Clint was a broken man, having destroyed lives for a vengeance that had nothing to do with them and now he was back to being a dad and a husband like it had never happened. The nightmares were regular and horrific, reminding him of when he was under Loki’s influence, when he was an assassin by choice, when he watched his best friend plummet over a cliff. He confided this all in Bruce, who whilst still not that type of doctor, was used to people in pain and needing someone to talk to. Mostly he just held his hand as he spoke but it was better than nothing.

Rhodey was trying his best to stay stoic and cheerful when all he clearly wanted to do was turn his back on the team for good. It was too much for one man to hold up and Bruce did his best to give him support; suggesting for him to take time for himself or just offering to take over. Bruce wasn’t a leader but he knew how to host meetings if it meant Rhodey could get away from his duties and just breathe once in a while.

Sam was the best of all of them. He had taken the title of Captain America about as seriously as anyone could and went about fixing a once-broken world, be it stopping the sudden rise in crime between those dusted versus those who stayed behind to being a face for hope in the world. He would go on the news and be that spark everyone needed to know that heroes were still around and they were going to stop whatever came next.

He was the only person Bruce could confide his worries in. It wasn’t their intention to become fast friends, but with Steve and Tony gone it seemed like they drifted towards one another, desperate for someone who knew what it was like to come out the other end.

Sam had found a few bottles of beer at the back of his fridge, probably left over from another guest bringing them round but they clinked the necks together and drank thoughtfully, looking out over the Brooklyn skyline.

“Thank you for taking my call,” Bruce said finally, regretting drinking even a small amount of beer instantly. He held the bottle with his good arm across his chest, keeping his eyes on the horizon.

“It’s no problem. I’m just glad you won’t damage my sofa any more.”

Bruce laughed, but only through his nose.

“Have you… heard from any of the others lately? Like, the ones out of area?”

“Carol checks in every now and then but will probably stop soon enough. Scott and Hope are still working things out. Thor--”

He stopped, because he didn’t mean to mention him. Not so early after saying goodbye.

Sam considered his options but then closed the gap between them and put a gentle hand on Bruce’s shoulder.

“He’ll come back sometime. He just needs to do something away from all the guilt he’s wracked up.”

Bruce nodded, still trying not to look at his friend because he knew he would see concern in his features. Bruce was the one supposed to be putting on a brave face. He was doing better than the others, he told himself. If he broke then what the hell would they do?

“You could… ask Carol to send him a message?”

Bruce laughed for real this time. “And say what? Hey Thor, remember me? I know you’re out saving the galaxy but we should make out again.”

Sam chuckled. “I would say try subtlety, but that’s me.”

Sam was the only one who knew Bruce and Thor had, briefly, wanted more between their friendship. Right after they had killed Thanos the first time round and they were so dejected and so in need of company they fell into each-other’s arms when no other option seemed viable. They only kissed once, lonely and desperate and so afraid of losing every last shred of happiness they had left, finding a quiet corner and trying to fill the emptiness the mission had left them. It was over before it even began and though it had been five years, Bruce still couldn’t let it go.

Worse still, Thor had kissed Bruce on the cheek as he left for the ship, catching him as he bent down to shake his hand like coworkers were supposed to do. Bruce could feel his overgrown beard tickling his skin for hours after, long after the ship had disappeared into the night sky.

“At least tell him you’re okay. He worried about you a lot with your arm and everything.”

Bruce looked down at his right arm, still burnt and scarred and barely able to feel a needle pressed into it, let alone move. The exoskeleton he was building would help a lot of the problems but he had turned down Shuri’s help to heal it completely. It was his memento for bringing back half the galaxy and he was glad to have something to show for it. Finally it was a battle scar the Hulk would be unable to wipe clean.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Good,” and Sam tapped his bottle to Bruce’s before raising it to his lips once more.

Testing on his exoskeleton had gone well, and he was trying out certain tasks around the house to help finetune it. Tony’s old blueprints for Rhodey’s legs were blown up in holograms across the room and Bruce tossed them about like batting aside cobwebs as he paced the floor. He was nervous and antsy and it was all because he had sent a communication to Carol the night before and now that was all he could think about. It usually took days for her to respond but that didn’t make his patience any better. In fact as he tried to do delicate tasks to see how his repaired fingers responded, he couldn’t tell if it was the machine or his nervous energy that caused him to shatter the mug in his hand.

Before he could let himself go mad by waiting for an intergalactic phone to call back, uncle duties were called upon and he met with Pepper and Morgan in the park. The kid was upset he was no longer big enough to use as her personal jungle gym so he let the Hulk take over for a while and did the mental equivalent of curling up in a corner, watching on in amusement.

He returned when Morgan was getting tired and started to get annoyed at the smallest things. Both adults tried to appease her but nothing would do and they eventually just let her cry out her frustrations until she fell asleep on the blanket.

Despite Morgan’s emotions, Pepper looked brighter than the last time he had seen her. More focused and more accepting of her future without Tony.

“It’s stupid, but when Morgan acts like this, all I can think about is him.”

Bruce wasn’t sure if that was meant to be funny; a crack at Tony when he was in one of his moods, so he waited for Pepper to continue before he let his emotions show.

“Not that Tony would cry this much, but he did play up the spoiled rich kid sometimes,” and her eyes twinkled as she grinned at Bruce. “Thank God Morgan isn’t seeing her inheritance until she’s at least 18.”

“She does have her mom’s traits as well. I tried telling Morgan about fairies and she wasn’t having it for one second.”

“Yeah, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny have already been debunked,” and she sighed, looking down at her daughter. “I wouldn’t want her any other way.”

Bruce carried Morgan back to the edge of the park where Pepper would get a taxi and vowed to see them again soon. Cradling the child in his arms, even his puny human arms, was like his soul being fed and he tried not to think about how much he wanted one of his own yet again.

Three days later and the call back from Carol was brief but apologetic. No news from Thor.

“That doesn’t mean you have to worry,” she added quickly. “Just that he’s out of reach for the time being.”

“Thanks Carol,” he sighed sadly, running his fingers through his hair.

“I’m sure he misses you. And, well, everyone.” She looked him up and down and then smiled. “You look well.”

“So do you,” he replied and that was the end of their communication.

Nerves built up to concern, to worry and then finally to anxiety. He just needed to know Thor was okay. That was all. The man had been at the lowest point of his entire life (a life than spanned centuries, no less) and what if he had internalised so much he would be unable to get through his troubles? What if the Guardians were unable to help him?

Fuelled by his frantic need to do something or else fester, he started to design a beacon. Something that could cross time and space, much like their line with Carol, but designed to hunt down even the most elusive of Norse gods. He knew it would involve fine-tuning something already so delicate but for the sake of his own sanity, he had to try.

_They were huddled in the corner of the room, away from the others who were either screaming at each other or stunned into silence. Thor looked ready to blast a hole in the earth in frustration and it was all Bruce could do to take him somewhere quiet and try to calm him down._

_He tried to think of what to say without his own cynical mind snorting indignantly and telling him to shut up. Instead, he put his hands on Thor’s trembling arms and rubbed circles into the skin, making patterns with the flats of his palms and trying to find some life behind those haunted eyes._

_Thor finally looked down to see his friend so concerned and so scared. They were both on the brink of tears, fighting against a force so strong it was like holding back a firestorm._

_Neither would ever know who instigated it, but their lips met all the same and Bruce put his arm around Thor’s neck as Thor grabbed the lapels of his jacket and they just embraced as tears streamed down their faces._

_Pulling back, they barely looked at each other before leaving, never to speak of their embrace._

Bruce worked long into the night and then the next day, noting down the name of the ship in every spare space of code so that even if the message didn’t reach the Guardians specifically, there might be a chance it would be passed to them in time.

He then thought of the lightning that Thor had coursing through his veins. He wondered if there was any other being in the universe like him; if he could lock on to that uniqueness in some way. He remembered studying it with Tony a lifetime ago, mainly for laughs but also just to try to figure out their teammates. As far as they could tell, it was no different to the lightning from the earth’s skies and when Thor had confirmed his planet was incredibly similar in atmosphere to theirs, it strengthened their theory.

Stepping out into the blackened night sky, rain pelting down onto every surface, Bruce finally snapped out of the work-based trance that had held him since starting to build the beacon. He just had to stand there, bracing against the cold as the rain felt cleansing. A rumble beneath his skin reminded him that the Hulk did not feel the same about thunderstorms, and he muttered a few words of comfort before he set up the lightning rod. He knew the ways of catching lightning were unreliable, but he only needed a spark to give the beacon what it needed to lock onto distant occurrences.

An anchor created and the beacon now fully operational, all he had to think of was the message. He had limited data and no way of knowing if it could be even read on the other side, depending on how far out they were and the technology at their disposal.

And then he remembered Peter Quill’s Zune, and how he had to have some way of adding music to it or else it was useless. (Maybe it was useless? Maybe there was music already on it and Peter has been listening to some random idiot’s favourite songs as if they were the pinnacle of Earth Music?) So he tried to think of what to say in a message.

He gave himself a minute of time, because otherwise he knew he would ramble longer than even a modern memory drive could hold. He tried to think of what to say and how to say it without sounding desperate for Thor to come home.

_You want him home._

Bruce waved his hand by his ear, as if shooing away a fly rather than Hulk’s voice.

_Banner always thinking about Thor. Won’t shut up about him. Tell him to come home._

“And what if he doesn’t want to come home, huh? Big guy?” Bruce asked the empty room, more aggravated than intended. “What if he’s happier out there away from… all of this?”

_Thor said he’s happy on Earth. Likes it more than Asgard._

His resolve was crumbling and he sighed tiredly. “I’m not sure he does anymore, buddy.”

Realising he would have to give himself more time to consider his message, he made his way to his bedroom, unused in days, possibly weeks.

_Hulk happy with Thor. Banner happy with Thor. We should try._

“We will,” Bruce said, much kinder and much softer now as he climbed into bed. “I promise we will.”

He set himself up at his desk with a newly purchased microphone and basic engineering software - nothing fancy but if he was going to do this, he was going to ensure a quality recording, dammit. He tested basic sentences through the beacon’s transmitter to see what it would sound like on the other end and adjusted accordingly.

Having stalled for time enough, he began talking.

“This is a message for Thor Odinson, God of Thunder, Avenger and now Guardian of the Galaxy. This is Dr Bruce Banner, Hulk, Avenger and now diplomat on behalf of the Asgardian refugees on Earth, uh, Terra.

“If this message can get to Thor with urgency, it would be appreciated.”

He stopped the recording and rubbed his eyes tiredly. This was as far as he had got with his script. Now he had to say something of actual substance.

“Hi, Thor. I don’t know when or where this message will reach you, but if you’re hearing this, it means this stupid idea of mine came to fruition, so yay for me. Unfortunately this is a one-way street so if you want to reply, by all means find a way or come back to earth and see me…?

He stopped the recording again and groaned. He erased the last sentence and continued.

“I wanted to find out if you were okay but this machine is transmission only. If I can find a way to send you the specs to build your own version and respond, I will do so. So I’m going to tell you how I’m doing. How we’re all doing.

“I don’t know if you can tell from my voice but Hulk and I separated again. We’re both much happier being two sides of the same coin instead of… whatever I was when I was in his body. I don’t regret doing it because it helped save the world but the Hulk is a part of me and he deserves a life.

“I’ve been working on an exoskeleton to help my arm and it’s going really well. I can’t quite type yet but I can pick things up. There might come a time where it might stop healing and it may have to be amputated but… that’s for later. I don’t think Hulk will appreciate having one arm so I’m doing what I can.”

He saw the time had surpassed a minute and stopped caring. Quill could deal with a short song worth of rambling.

“The thing is… there’s so much to do on earth. So much to help fix with the Asgardians and the team and… it’s tough. Without Tony, Nat and Steve, it’s like this massive hole we’re desperately trying to fill. I wish more of us were still around to repair the damage. I wish…”

He paused the recording but the Hulk practically screamed in his ear what he wanted to say, so he continued.

“I wish you were here. I apologise to anyone else hearing this but the truth is I miss you. And one stupid kiss when we were both traumatised wasn’t enough. You saved my life… at least five times as far as I can count and you helped me bring back half the universe. You rescued me from an alien planet, for God’s sake! I… can’t think of anyone else I want to spend the rest of my ridiculous life with.

“But, fortunately for you, I have no way of telling if this message will reach you, so if you don’t feel the same way then good news! Just ignore everyone I said and keep guarding the galaxy or whatever it is you are doing. I hope the universe is kind to you and as beautiful as I remember.

He wanted to continue, he wished he had more to say, but nothing came to him and his eyes were brimming with tears.

“Take care, Thor.”

The beacon fired up, he compressed the file as much as he could without losing too much sound quality and sent it out into the vastness of space. He wondered wryly if building his own spaceship would have been subtler but regret was for people who had anything else to lose.

As the days ticked over, he longed for another storm. Even Hulk was disappointed when they had cloudless night after cloudless night. If there wasn't any indication Thor was coming back to earth, Bruce still wanted to stand out in the rain again.

His time spent looking up at the sky became a ritual, right before bed, when the world was quiet or at least lulled, and he could step outside into his small garden wonder where he was. What he was doing. If he was safe and happy and knew someone out there loved him.

One night, he awoke to a fierce storm outside and listened to every rumble, watched his room light up with every strike on the earth and fell back asleep dreaming Thor was right next to him.

A month had passed and though the ritual of looking at the skies remained, Bruce was trying to convince himself it was because he went to space and for no other reason. That’s what he told his friends when they asked him and, despite that spark of hope he but especially Hulk held, he started to believe it.

The news of a spaceship entering their solar system was alerted to all of the Avengers and their comrades. The early alert systems built by Wakandan technology and Shuri’s team out of LA meant they had time to analyse if it was a friend or foe.

Bruce readied up with the rest of them but he knew if it wasn’t the spaceship he was waiting for, he would be in no fit state to fight. Or maybe it would help in destroying an alien race set on destroying their planet? Disappointment had a funny way of presenting itself sometimes.

The speed at which it raced towards Earth put everyone’s heckles up but it was only when it reached Jupiter did they hear a message.

Bruce raced outside before anyone else and looked up at the pinkish hue as the sun began to set. A small group waited with him, Sam even held his hand as a means of support as he stayed, eyes fixed on the now near-darkness above him.

He wondered about running to the Benatar as it descended, about how he would time it right so Thor would run out just as it landed and they would meet in the middle of the quad like in an old movie. He even shook away Sam’s hand as it broke through the clouds in anticipation.

But he couldn’t do it. There was no telling what Thor would say when he saw him. Maybe his message had been a complete disaster and it had alerted enemies to attack the Guardians? Maybe Thor was here to tell Bruce to stop trying to find him because there was a reason he had left? Maybe this was not the welcome visit everyone was expecting?

The spaceship landed and reluctantly, Bruce followed the rest of the group to welcome their allies back to Earth.

The lightning that erupted across the skies made everyone jump. The lights from the complex went out for a few seconds but everywhere they could see was lit up from bolts of lightning streaking across the night sky. Bruce was still looking up, not sure what it meant, when he realised Thor was standing right in front of him.

Hulk screamed in his ear to do something, anything, but he was rooted in place. Even when Thor took a step forward and placed a gentle hand on Bruce’s shoulder. He said something but Bruce’s ears were practically bleeding from what Hulk was saying.

So he said nothing when Thor carefully lifted his chin and reached down to kiss him.


End file.
